phillyphan

Its April, and you know what that means?? One month left of school!...or classes atleast. Im having trouble finishing school. I thought senioritis hit in December, well now i know what senioritis actually feels like. Cant do it. School is just not a priority right now. Lately ive been sitting around planning penn visiting days, finding a roommate, applying for some scholarships, and working on weekends.

Prom was this weekend, saturday night, and it was as bad as i expected, not worse though. My friends finally persuaded me to go, and invite a random guy to go with me. Not G, the email guy, a different one. G still hasnt mentioned the email and i talked taIk to him very frequently at work. But anyway I ended up asking a guy from work on wednesday night! haha i know, nothing like four days notice, but i was being stubborn because i was convinced Romer would answer his phone eventually. never did. So i asked said random guy whos a senior also and it turned out okay. Hes no Romer, for sure, but it was better than going alone i guess. The pictures are cute. The worst part was that on saturday night when all of us got back to my house and eventually went to sleep, i started talking in my sleep about Romer. All my friends, including the guy i brought, woke up and heard it. My friend, A, told me the next day and at first i didnt believe her but then K confirmed it. ugh, so embarrassing. They know all about it though so atleast they kind of understood. The post prom at my house was a well kept secret. Last weekend i picked up the goods from As boyfriend in the city so we had that, i cleaned my apartment pretty well if i do say so myself, and we had pretty kick ass food. The leftover drinks are now in the back of my car... if im ever having a bad day at school, ill know where to go.

Another girl i talk to from school, S, had a post too. She kept inviting me and K to go but we had other plans obviously. I didnt want to go to her house with some random people i dont like that much, so the four of us decided to have a post kept on the dl at my casa. It turned out well i think, except the whole Romer part. Prom was nice overall though.

On Saturday at work Romer came up to me and told me that we arent facebook friends...way to notice a month after haha. Atleast that confirmed that he doesnt care, kinda? Like i said before, people take facebook way too seriously, but it is a form of closure.  He said we never talk anymore and asked why were not friends on facebook, kind of joking. I just laughed and said i clean out my facebook friends frequently. He looked confused but didnt ask questions and changed the subject. I wanted to tell him that he hurt my feelings and i cant stand seeing his updates on my home page and knowing that he doesnt give a shit, but i could never say that. Later another girl on staff, AC, decided to plan a dinner for my birthday and another girl, G, in may. Im actually happy they wanna hang out bc i never get to hangout with work people unless J is home. Ahh, i miss J. Anyway, that should be fun if it comes through except that on sunday, AC invited Romer to it. I think he thought it was a joke but he looked over at me and was like no worries, im coming. sarcastic? hopefully. After work on Sunday we texted a few times and i was surprised he kept texing back. I dont know if he cares, actually i know he doesnt, but i wonder if hes confused about the whole facebook thing, he obviously felt like he had to say something about it. Its not even that i dont want him on my page, cuz i couldnt care less about him seeing my page. I care about seeing his updates and random stuff everyday, and not being able to talk to him anymore. I just feel like i dont have the right to be friends with him and it makes me feel crappy and depressed to see that.

M, another work friend, broke up with his gf last week. He had been with her forever so it was pretty rough. He has to sell his apartment asap but J, a happy coworker, is not so melancholy about it lol. I think she invited him over for dinner on Saturday. I thought that was funny, he doesnt waste time obviously. They would be cute together but seriously? idk.

Everyone at school is finally figuring out college stuff. Z got into the flight school and Rice, not princeton though. Shes pretty bummed about princeton, as are her parents, and will probably end up at flight school. I think thats what she really wants to do, even if its not her ivy league dream school. A, got into priceton, caltech, and columbia! She is now deciding between caltech and princeton. She visited caltech over the weekends, before prom, and loved it but i think her parents wont let her live on the west coast. K got into WashU early, and of course im getting psyched for penn. My roommate search is going pretty well. Penn preview days are next week so im meeting a lot of people for lunch/shopping of course which will be fun! Its also spring fling at penn next weekend so im getting excited.

The Phils lost their season opener last night but hopefully tomorrow theyll get their act together and play like a world series winning team. Myers sucked last night to say the least. I have faith though, they can do it again. Greek was on tonight so that made me in a little better mood. Gotta love it. Ciao for now!

Aright, i have so much to say, i hope this isnt too long, but im apologizing now. Obviously i havent written in a long, long time because things have been all over the place. I just read my last entry and i was like woah, where have i been? So to start off, Im on spring break! but lets review, hopefully ill just record the interestingstuff.

Prom is in less than two weeks, and its basically (and i mean basically) figured out. Contrary to what you might think, i am going, but as might be expected, i have no date. Is this because of Romer? Well, partially, but i really did try to contact someone else this week. First I called Romer on Monday night. We talked last weekend and i thought we were okay. I even saw Watchmen on Saturday night because he told me i should. i know, it might seem as though im still whipped. But when i called him monday night, no answer. I dont know why but for some reason he cant make time for me outside of work, even as a friend, so i resorted to what i thought i never would do, ever. I emailed G, my potential prom man from work, on tuesday night and told him to call me. I emailed him because I couldnt find him on facebook and i dont have his number, but hes nice enough to take to prom, i guess, and even though Romer makes it hard to think about anything, im the only one of my friends without a date. i had to do something. G didnt respond either. I had never emailed him before so he probably never checked it. I saw him at work yesterday and i couldnt make myself mention it. What would he say if i said \'hey i emailed you this week...\' Im just not one to act desperate or dependent, so we talked for about an hour without mention of this email. He acted totally normal and so i just decided to put the email aside and talk as though it never happened. Now i have no date and an expensive dress. Post prom is going to be in my apartment just with Z, A, K and their dates. Thatll be fun though, so this week ill be planning for that.

Spring break has been fun so far. Friday i had off so i volunteered at the Franklin and then went out with J! We painted pottery at a really cute place off south street and then went to Bridget Foys. While i was parked in a south street lot, i got a violation ticket from those new south street parking system. That was so annoying but we decided i can use the envelope when i park anywhere in the city and think i wont be back on time, because then i cant get another ticket! We talked about summer jobs, and C - this manager who used to be at work but then mysteriously just left. We think he was asked to leave for some sketchy reason but no one knows. J came to work yesterday and then today she went back to school. We have this whole list of things we have to do this summer when she comes home! cant wait! We went out to Jones last weekend which was amazing, must do it again. Were also going to the No Doubt concert in June! Today I went to work and it was a good day, surprisingly even without J, because my managers wife had her baby so he wasnt there. The other manager, K, who i love, was there, so i got to talk to her. I love that its a whole different crowd that works Saturdays vs Sundays so i get to see everyone and catch up. D, one of the hilarious new staff, is applying for a full time job and im praying she gets it cuz shes awesome. She should get it though cause she has her masters in museum studies. Ugh, well see. I really avoided Romer most of the weekend, yesterday because J was there, and today i was training volunteers and doing shows so i really didnt have time to think about it. I doubt he cares. The two times i did see him, he was talking to S, this other girl on my staff thats weird but always just hangning around not doing her job. When i was showing a volunteer around the museum today they waved at me from downstairs, but i ignored them. I didnt want to be mean but its actually painful for me to talk to him and see him all the time. Im over the fact that he doesnt want to be friends, but ill never be over him. Maybe G not responding to my email was meant to happen.

Im on spring break this week, home. My fam went to Miami but i opted out. I cant deal with staying in the same room as my mom for five days and Miami just isnt my cup of tea. im more of an italy girl, or atleast i like to travel somewhere cool and new. My dad said he will take me to italy in June for graduation present! For now ill be home though, reading my training packets for the Franklin, applying for summer jobs, and going out with my friends cause theyre all home. My parents were kinda mad im not going, but theyre over it, and hopefully having fun with just my sister. Im going to go out with school people on tuesday so we can talk about prom, and im going to go see A in NJ because she got into Villanova yesterday! She so excited and im so happy for her.

Well that wanst so much. Ill try to write soon though. Ciao!

Besides the fact that it is officially March and its still 30 degrees, im in a pretty kickin mood because i have a snow day tomorrow! Seriously though, i cant complain about snow, even in March, when theres enough that they announce the snow day the night before. I dont even have to get out of bed early to check.

Anyway, this weekend was pretty fun but had the usual Romer stress undertone. Friday night i went to the coffeehouse with A, B of course, As new bf, and G. Some bands from Gs school were playing and we just wanted to hang out. A new bf isnt the best looking dude, but hes nice and goes to Curtis which is sweet. Friday wasnt too interesting but i love hanging out with G and B hah. Saturday was a long day at work but i got to see my usual motley crew of favorite coworkers and then i went out to eat with R and K. Rs birthday is tomorrow but we wanted to go eat in the city so we went to Buca and got dinner and free cake! K is hilarious and talked about how she got her eyebrows waxed so that the caricature artist thats drawing us this week wouldnt draw her with bushy eyebrows. Oh, K. Today was fine at work, girl scout day! so naturally i bought three boxes of cookies, many of which are gone, and then had the renaissance fundraiser at school. Oh my goodness, the renaissance banquet, yes you heard right.  Basically everyone who was in the fundraiser concert, as well as everyone who attended, had to dress up. there were jugglers...um i was laughing for two hours including while playing my songs. People at my school are insane. Some words of wisdom: if you decide for some odd reason to go to an all girls school, go in knowing that when you come out nothing will surprise you. I dont think there is anything you could tell me that i wouldnt believe or atleast not be surprised that it could happen.

Right now im actually blogging to take my mind off contacting Romer. Work with him was strange, par usual. I hadnt seen him for three weeks. Yesterday at work he showed up (wow) with the same phone as me. I hate this phone, i must admit, i just cant figure out how to use the storm but anyway he kept asking me how to use it and eventually said that he lost his contacts and he needed my number. I had to go answer a visitor question but when i had the time i thought about it and i thought...wait, why would he need my number? He has never called or texted me voluntarily. If he wants to look like he has more contacts in his phone he could just put in a fake number and put my name on it. I dont get it. So i decided that he was not worthy of receiving my number and i avoided him so that he wouldnt ask. Today was the same. He just kept asking and finally trapped me at the end of the day to ask me stuff about the phone and then asked for the number again. This time i actually asked why, what would you use that for? He was just like oh you hate me, and i kinda looked around and stopped. Then he said that next year when i go to Penn im gonna meet some guy that goes to wharton and get married and move into a huge house someday. Yes, i was thinking WTF. I had no idea how to respond on the spot so i was like hah um okay, and changed the subject. What the hell did that mean? I decided it obviously couldve been taken one of two ways: 1: He knows i like him and he just wants to be friends so stop liking him. or 2: He likes me and wants me to say something. Somehow i know by now that 2 is false, which leaves option 1. But why would he feel the need to say that? He still doesnt have my number or my pin number. I never go crazy over guys like this. ever. and i dont know why hes such an exception. like a crazy beyond belief reach for the stars over the fence world series kind of stuff exception.

I also saw potential prom man on saturday. no. the second i see Romer all thoughts of potential anything anytime ever people fade away and i cant image life any other way. even just senior prom. i guess the dress i bought on friday, in hopes to eventually convince myself to get a date, is going back to bloomies. But theres no school tomorrow so i should be happy. This is almost like a three day week because jr/sr is on thrusday night and then friday is career day aka no classes! I want this to be a short, and quick week. Ciao for now!

I usually write at the begining of the week but i think ive been busy...wait no i havent...maybe it just hasnt been the right time to write. yeah, that sounds better. Anyway, life has been pretty chill but boring. Im bummed that February is almost over and its still 30 degrees outside. March will be a million times better though because junior/senior, spring break, and hopefully some warmer weather is coming up!

This week ive just had ballet and friend stuff. By friend stuff i mean going out with B a lot. She goes to AA now since the incident a few weeks ago and im trying to keep her out of trouble while shes at her parents house. We went to the mall on wednesday and out to dinner for our 'diet dinner'. I really want to help B, just sometimes it seems almost impossible. I already told her that at junior/senior, which will be at my house, we will not be drinking. She was majorly concerned and offered to bring it herself and said that we shouldnt be sacrificing our night for her. Okay first of all, our juniors dont drink. Second, B cannt drink right now. I mean shes gone almost 20 days without drinking. She still has 70 more to go before reaching her next step or whatever but still, i dont want her to mess that up. Shes planning on going out to a bar with friends from work though on saturday and that worries me. After all i do, after all the time i spend helping her, she plans to drink the one night i wont be around. Of course i have work on saturday but then i was planning to go out for R's birthday in the city. B needs to be responsible and take AA seriously. She says that she doesnt have a problem and she only goes to make her parnets feel better but if she only looks forward to drinking, theres obviously a problem.

Junior/Senior is a tradition at my school where a senior and a jonior get paired up and we share a journal and then have a huge banquet and scavenger hunt-- next week. Typical girls school, i know. Things can get crazy though, as you might imagine. Last year my senior was one of my best friends, A, and we got so trashed. This year however, my junior, CL, doesnt drink. Its really okay with me because were friends and shes so nice, i really dont care. Itll be fun anyway because Z and K will be with us for the scavenger hunt and sleepover.

Next issue...prom. As i said, im not going. My friends keep giving me all this shit about it. I know its senior prom, but we go to a freaky all girls school. At work last Saturday i thought this guy was about to ask me to go to his but we ended up just talking about proms. He thinks i should go to mine and maybe is thinking about it, who knows, not that i would ask him. There are three or four guys at work that might ask me or could go to mine. Wondering about Romer? Yesterday it was three and a half week without talking to him! Last night i got a little dperessed and imed him. i know. mistake. It was okay though because it was literally a four minute convo and he stopped responding. He called out of work last weekend because he was sick, and the weekend before i was at model un. aka why its been so easy for me to avoid and not talk to him.

Also on Saturday i got to have dinner with A! So Im really tired but hopefully i will write back sooner than later!

Im home from Moldel UN! Naimun 2009 is over, sadly, but it was amazing! I got to leave school early on thursday and we got to washington around 3:30. K, T and junior, J, were in my room. Our committee was fun, but no one was really hilarious or off the wall. People were intense mostly, and the chill people didnt talk too much. We were Velenzuela and we made friends with Romania, Syria, and Mexico, through notes of course. Ethiopia and Cuba were creeps that sat next to us. So besdies committee, K, T, and i walked around washington and ate a lot. Friday morning we had off from committee so went to georgetown to shop. Of course i bought betsey johnson jeeewelry because it was 25% off for presidents day weekend. Friday night after UN we went out to eat at Thaiphoon, one of our favorites, with J! She walked over from GW and i got to catch up with her. She told us a really amazinfgdessert place to go after our night committee session and obviously we went later and split a huge sundae...and cake. Saturday we had committee basically all day, so long. Three hours in the morning and then four hours in the afternoon until 7pm. We passed notes most of the time, signed some papers other countries wrote. Syria was pretty amusing. They were sophs from a school near ours and we passed a million notes with them but never actualy talked, which is awkward haha but whatever. They were cute but when they said they were sophs it was kinda not okay, but they were nice so whatever. Romania were both girls who were also dead bored during the last session. Oh, K and i ended up sending valentines to everyone on saturday during committee to pass the time, so we got a lot of notes about that. Saturday night was the amazing, hilarious, naimun dance. This dance was about 2000-3000 kids in the ballroom of the hilton. yea, kinda crazy. K, T, and i got buzzed before so that we wouldnt feel completely insane dancing around with a million kids- 90% of them were probably younger than us. It was fun though and ironically J, my junior roomie, hooked up with one of the Syria sophs haha. I dont remember a lot of the actual dance, as in what went down, but i danced a lot with B-- my friend who left my school two years ago, K and T obviously. It was truly a girls night, singles night, and also ironically on valentines day- singles awareness day. Today we slept in, packed, had late breakfast, and then left our lovely capitol city. Great weekend!... to be (mostly) remembered.

Im so glad i didnt work on valentines day for obvious Romer reasons. I havnt talked to him for almost a full two weeks. Im trying to not look back on it anymore or regret the decision i made, and my friends helped me make. Like i said, ill get over it eventually with time. This weekend away from work was so amazing to take my mind off it and have a full two weeks away from work in general, i needed it. I dont think ive taken off since October. Now im back though, and im back to finding my externship/senior project for May, deciding on my final decision for college, and being a senior. duh! Im going to go unpack and upload some photos until my sister comes back from Quebec later, and my dads flight from CA comes in. Ciao for now!