phillyphan

Okay, so a lot.

Let\'s start from the top. On Thursday i got my  fabulous highlights! -if i do say so myself. It was a really great day, really relaxing, which was good because what was to come wasnt so much fun. So Friday was just the beginning. I had school again and i got my deplorable exams back. but i knew they werent so good right? i mean its kinda true that i didnt exactly study my hardest. I did badly on calculus and i was really disappointed, but thats almost the least of my worries as of now.

Friday night was fine. I went to the movie with the fam and we saw Pink Panther. That made me feel better. I mean, how can Steve Martin saying \'Will you be going to get some sushi now my little yellow friend?\' in his amazing accent not make you pee yourself, seriously though. Friday night B called me and said she got kicked out of her step mom\'s. The usual reasons, but i felt so bad that i offered to let her stay at my house. I mean i have an apartment next to my house so it would be okay. More to come...

Saturday started a little rough, got better and then just went to the dog pound. M was our manager, so he was frantic about getting everything settled in the morning. It was kind of a rocky start but then everything went on as usual and me, S, and chichi went to startbucks for lunch. I didnt talk to Romer in the morning and even when i did pass him occasionally i didnt make eyecontact, or when he did say hey whats up i just said hi back and kept walking. Im not being immature, seriously, i strategically avoid it, and then im civil. He probably doesnt even care or think twice about it. My friends just decided i need closure and some kind of constant ending. Which is good, my friends are amazing for dealing with this crap. Later on Saturday S, who knows basically my whole deal with Romer, decided she was going to constantly flirt with him in front of me and then stay with him at his post for an hour, neglecting her job. By the way, she was just hired 2 months ago after volunteering fora year. Romer doesnt like her but he definitely put up with it and would just yell my name, like a dumbass, whenever i passed. I was so mad at S that i havent talked to her since.

\'He\'s just not that into you\' explained a lot. I know its a movie and whatever, but it really clear a few things up and it was hilarious. I saw it with my friend SS from school on Saturday night, We went to dinner at Rubys and the movies. fun fun! Justin Long was in it who i love! I met him in France (twice) while on my exchange 2 years ago! My favorite of his lines would probably have to be \' When guys act like they dont give a shit, they dont give a shit.\' Thank you Justin, for more closure. even though he find out at the end that hes wrong sometimes, i still buy that, atleast in my situation. The other best part of the movie would have to be the black ladies on the bench. Watch it!

After i got home i texted B, but there was no response. Sunday was more awkward at work. S wasnt working, but i still had to avoid Romer. First thing we both were upstairs. damn. Yea i was up in the exhibit and he was right outside the theatre, basically at the same post. I guess its weird that 3 weeks ago i probably would have been standing right there talking to him for the entire 30 minutes we were there. At the time though, i was only trying to figure out how to escape and be out of sight, while still knowing what he was doing. He saw me, he was actually staring for a while, probably wondering why i was standing 20 feet away trying to do my job and not talking to him. He knows though because i had done the same thing the day before when he tried to talk to me, and so we made eyecontact and looked away. and it only got worse. In the afternoon i got a call from B saying that she wasnt staying at my house. I called her back at her actual house and she said shed been arrested on saturday night with alcohol poisoning. yeah, i almost cried, then i did. I could only think that it was my fault. When i didnt get a text back the night before i shouldve known something was up. or she just was asleep or didnt feel like responding. She went to a college party, got hammered, and got really really sick. Depression or need for attention? I dont know and i dont know if i wanna know what she was thinking or if she was thinking. Now shes back her parents house though and she seemed fine today. We shall see.

I went home last night and whined to Z on the phone about everything. She just convinced me to defriend him on facebook and also listened to me B rant. The facebook thing is a bigger deal than you might think. Weve been friedns on facebook since day one, about 2 years ago. More closure. and even though im in shock i know ill be okay eventually, its a time thing. Friends are actually the best thing. Well, good ones anyway, and im lucky to have atleast 2 or 3, and thats enough. Today was more school, ugh, but im so excited for model un this weekend!!! I leave on Thursday and come back Sunday. Yes that means no work and no school for 5 days! The BEST. Im going with my friend K and im going to see J while im there! Hopefully when i return i will be revived and drama free!...well lets not get our hopes up too too high. Ciao for now!

Yes, its finally February. Normally i would dread February almost as much as January, but since next weekend is model UN, im pretty pumped. This whole week i had midterms. Last Thursday at this time i was studying chem, which i had on friday, and then all my other exams were this week. I was a little stressed out about it but i really just wnat to pass. I mean im technically into college so im trying not to kill myself over school anymore...for now.

This weekend I saw 'Slumdog Millionaire' and i thought it was really good. Pretty intense, but overall a cool movie. At work i just talked my M, R, and S mostly. N was at a camp fair so i didnt get to see her this week. S thought she had a kidney infection but it actually turned out to be a sist in her ovary. scary. I told her to go back to the doctor and get more meds cuz they wouldnt treat it or tell her what to do for it. I actually didnt talk to Romer this weekend! Alright, one time on Sunday for about 5 minutes, but thats it. Im totally getting over it. Im still in the process but im doing so much better, and eventually, maybe ill be able to move on. He definitely got the idea, except for my responding to him on Sunday, but i couldnt totally ignor him and be immature, so i talked but then went back to doing work and strategically avoided him for the rest of the day. I feel like he might have started dating someone but i dont know. probably not and i shouldnt care. Its not that i hate him or anything, its just the only way i can get over it and also since he made it obvious he doesnt want to be friends, im leaving him alone the only way i can. He hasnt tried to contact me so either he thinks im mad or he doesnt care, probably the later.

Monday after my calc exam H came over and we studied french. We looked at our yearbook pictures we had taken and talked about guys...the usual. Of course we watched gossip girl and then started studying. Wednesday was my last day of eams and of course there was a delay for snow. ugh! But i still got to come in later and finished all my exams which was exhausting. Last night I went out to eat with my friends for A's 18th birthday. I got to see G! -who i never get to see since she left school.

After dinner i drove B home to her actual parents house. She had to talk to them about her trip to franklin and marshall. Shes still having problems with her parents and her step mom. Her parents asked her to move back in but why would she move back in now? Shes doing so well. Her step mom's mom comlains about her living with them but i dont know where else she can go now. Ugh she needs to go to college now!...I think we all do.

I got highlights today so my hair is kinda blondee. Still red, but a lot of blonde too. I had off from school today because its grading day but tomorrow i have to go back to daycare. Im going to go watch some tv and pretend i dont have an english test tomorrow! Ciao!

I usually dont write on saturday nights unless its an emergency...or im bored. It happens to be the first, though. Im just acting like a complete drama queen stressing over stupid stuff. Im talking to A about it now and shes helping, but making me stressed about her colleges too. Its okay though, atleast i have someone to talk to and a blog to vent to.

First, and probably the most shallow sounding, would be my yearbook pictures. Theyre on wednesday and besides the fact that i have nothing to wear, my face isnt exactly silky clear. I just tried on some clothes that might work but nomatter what i wear, i know my mom will complain about them. She cant really talk though because i havent seen her in days...well dinner tonight...but we dont talk.

Okay next issue would be midterms. They start on friday and its my only grade for the trimester in most of my classes, which means pass..aka B...or die and feel really guilty for a while. Im into college but getting Cs is still not an option. Chemistry will be the worst because i actually have been getting Cs in that class on quizzes. Other than chem my other classes are manageable, i just have to put some time in this week and not be a lazy, accepted senior.

Now for something a little heavier. B. B is my crazy, semi-alcoholic, well meaning friend. Last year she got in a huge fight with her parents- mom and step dad- and when she turned 18, she was kicked out. This summer she moved in with her ex-step mom...her real dads ex-wife. i know, it took me a while to figure out. Anyway, shes gotten a lot better about grades, loyalty, and drinking since shes moved in with Y. Y is really nice and B doesnt wanna mess this up. Why its a problem right now is because Y doesnt drive B to school until a half hour too late in the morning. B doesnt want to be an imposition, or get kicked out, so she deals with the consequences of being late. Some detentions, but yeserday our principal yelled at her really badly. He knows her situation--vaguely--really just what her parents tell him. Im usually a frigid bitch about these kind of family situations but i empathize with B. I talked to the principal yesterday with my other friend K and told him that shes trying, her grades have been going up, she meets with her first period teacher, and maybe he shouldnt be so hard on her but just ask her to talk to Y. He basically just acted like a know-it-all and brushed us off. I talk to her a lot in school. Shes a mess, but its not her fault. I feel bad for neglecting B while she was bad, i want to help her, i just dont know how.

Another stupid but stressful problem this week was my Killers tickets. Presale was on wednesday and i was intent on getting 4 or 6 tickets together- definitely two for Z and her bf, one for me, maybe my sister A, and one or two other people. Presale sold out in 30 seconds and i got two random single tickets. I know, i was pissed. All week i was mad and just wanted to get some expensive good seats off stubhub to make me feel better but i waited and today was the regular sale on livenation and i managed to get four seats together but in the back row, a pair literally in the fourth row (!), and a pair about in the middle. So now i have all the tickets, *sigh of relief*, but how do i distribute them? I have plenty of time since the concerts not until may, but who am i gona bring if Zs with her bf? I refuse to stand at a Killers concert alone with my 13 year old sister.

Last, you probably guessed, Romer. It made my stomach tighten to even type that, but i have to address the issue that is still lingering, even if i want it to go away. All week i was good. We talked monday on aim (he imed me) about his car and some other stuff but after that i was totally silent and cool...meaning we didnt talk the rest of the week. Im totally over it! Ive told Z a thousand times i give her all the credit for making me stick with this and now i think of him as a friend. I really do. Now lets go over today at work. I was good in the morning, didnt make eyecontact, talk to him,. etc. Lunch breaks came at the same time and we talked for a second, and then after lunch. Okay to get to my point, at the end of the day i agreed to help him rip tickets at the theatre, i suck at ripping tickets, i might add, and then we talked after and something weird happened. I might be totally thinking too far into this as usual but this girl came up the stairs, running-- late for the show and Romer goes 'ahh shes gona be late, ahh yea." If you didnt catch my tone there, he was basically telling me that he was about to flirt with her. She comes up the stairs, he helps her, takes her tickets and turns back around, smiling, and without even thinking i gave this huge sigh and a kind of fake stumble. I did it because i was tired and bored, seriously, but he saw it and sarcastically was like, 'haha aawww whats wrong?" ughhh i was not jealous! did it look that much like i was jealous? i just said, 'nothing, ugh im tired, ready to go home.' When it was time to leave, i was walking out from the back staff room but he was walking in to clock out. Since he was going to be back there by himself i decided to just walk back with him cause we were talking about my phone. (bad idea). When we walked back, another girl, G, was back there and we were talking to her, complaining about getting up hah. Randomly Romer sarcastically says, 'i cry at night G, i cry, cause (my name) doesnt talk to me.' G just kinda laughed and walked away but Romer had turned away quick after he said it, and when he turned back around he was serious. We talked more and then we were walking out of the staff room, alone then, and i actually didnt fully hear what he said but i think he said, 'why do you stalk me.' and natually i said 'what?' because i didnt hear what he said, but he just goes, 'what?! haha' and started something else. I dont know what that was about. Couldve been completely sarcastic. couldve.

Its saturday night at 11:47. sweet. Ive also really been working on just cutting back in general. cutting back on eating unnecessary food of course, cutting back on talking to Romer, cutting back on spending. Sadly, ive been cutting back on homework too which is a problem. I need to get through midterms and then my highlights appointent and Model UN trip will be the next weekend! Yes! Well possibly more interesting stories tomorrow, hopefully that dont include Romer. Ciao!

This weekend went pretty fast, surprisingly. It started on friday of course when i got out of class at 1:30 and went to my favorite place in the world. Well maybe not my favorite place, but my favorite place within 15 miles of my house. King of Prussia mall, obviously. I didnt really need anything but to de-stress from this long, exhausting week of crappy school, i decided i could find something to make me feel better. Just being in the mall makes me feel better. I mean having some alone time, just looking around at clothes, and jewelry, and even people...somehow thats relaxing. After my mall trip i drove home and met my parents for dinner. It was a strange experience because i dont talk to them too much anymore. Of course i live in the same house but between school, work, ballet, me driving myself everywhere, we dont catch up too much, especially my mom...thank God. So dinner was mostly politics because of Tuesday\'s inauguration, but it wasnt too painful.

Saturday was a regular work day. I saw N my favorite, M, and R. It was the first day the new exhibit was open-- well technically thrusday it opened but saturday was the first day i was working. It was crazy. The exhibit is pretty cool i admit, even though its a black people exhibit. Everyone was frantic because no one is used to having that many people come through the museum. At the end of the day, a kid got lost. Actually the parents got lost form the kid. R found him in the exhibit crying so we brought him to H and she sat with him while we looked for the parents. Finally, 45 minutes later, i found them in the exhibit. The mom thought he was with the dad and the dad thought he was with the mom. ahhhh. Yes, i did talk to Romer on saturday, a few times. He got a car, finally, and he was so excited, it was cute. I forget what else we talked about but i wish i had been more stand-offish...but its hard. I know one of these days im just gona be like ahhhhg how do you expect me to get over you when youre always here and talk to me?! but i would never say that, i mean i havnt for two years, right?  Sunday at work was packed again and it was more stressful because staff called out for the Eagles game. Now i watch the Phillies from May to October regardless of their record but the Eagles mmm i jump on the ban wagon...or just dont. This year i was hoping they wouldnt make the playoffs cause they just need a new team... coach... quarterback... recieier... yea. So coming to work sunday was not a problem for me. They ended up losing to the Cardinals anyway so whoever missed work, im sorry. aka Romer, which was better for me, right! A free day off from having to avoid him. He did text me to make sure the manager knew he wasnt coming but other than that, it was a lot easier to focus on work. The visitors were still insane though and the exhibit is still coming together. Today was MLK day, but a work day regardless. It was crowded but not as bad as i wouldve thought. I got to see K and J, who just work during the week. and no Romer. Weekdays are so different at work cause all the intense people are there, but i dont mind, theyre cool.

So since ive been home tonight ive written three sentences of my latin paper and watched 3 episodes of Privileged. Dont ask me how shitty and unproductive i feel right now! Luckily, i persuaded my parents to let me take off tomorrow so i can catch up on school work. All thats going on tomorrow is the inauguration, so thats all people will be talking about. Woohoo... *gag*. Im going to sleep in, go to starbucks, hit the books, write a little, go tanning, and go to ballet. Sounds like a fab day. Im still trying to find potential roommates and im in the process of coming up with externship ideas for may. For my externship i dont want to go too far so i was actually thinking starbucks. I know that sounds cliche and completely not okay for school. but seriously learning to make the drinks, customer service, it could totally work. Im gona ask D, the super sweet manager at the shop near my house. Ciao!

ps, i cant lie,-  i made myself delete Romers aim screenname from my buddy list, as Z suggested...but i still go on facebook to see if hes online. ahhhh damn. hes away...i wanna hear about his car. I shall stay strong, no worries.

Its tuesday. which means otmorrows wednesday. which means its almost thrusday. which means then its friday.

So today was long schoolwise. I almost didnt make it through the morning but then i realized i didnt have BC Calc so i could leave early and go shop/finish other work. When i left school i went to macys and got H a birthday present and some clinique for me. Then i drove into the city for my work meeting. I parked at a meter since the meeting was lony a little more than an hour but when i parked i realized i parked behind a huge ghetto scary guy sitting in his car! ugh. i didnt have time to move to i just decided to lock my car and go for it. Luckily when i came out everything was fine. Backtracking, as i was walking into the meeting, guess who was wlaking out of work? Yep, Romer. We had a quick convo, really nothing to say about that at all. The work meeting just consisted of managers talking about the nw exhibit and random stuff, while we sat around and talked. good times.

On the way home i actually boiled this whole Romer situation down, again, for myself. Its not that he doesnt care-- because why else would he even spend the time of day? for example sunday. but he doesnt care like that. I think he thinks its awkward with us right now as friends and doesnt know why. I wish i could tell him that simply its not his fault or that im being awkward because i dont want to go crazy, but i know he doesnt like me like that and i dont want to scare him and everyday at work it would be awkward if he knew that. But he must sorta get that vibe? I dont mean to be awkward, its just that my way of coping and not going crazy over the fact that he doesnt like me is to ignor him and try not to talk to him as much. Hes too nice to me so i have to be a little cold shoulder-ish.--which isnt like me, but i dont wanna be insane forever. But i cant tell him any of that without breaking the "im getting over you" type of news, which would make things more awkward in general, but atleast he would know why. but i could never say that to him, it might actually make him feel worse than now.

Im still talking to people on facebook about rooming at Penn! Its hard though cause its so hard in advance but i think theres going to be a meetup soon so i can actually talk to people! Nothing else really going on this week. This weekend is a long weekend though! Saturday to Monday, so im wokring everyday. yep, funny how that works. Tuesday i technically have school but i might be able to pull some strings and stay home since its the inauguration and my parents feel bad theyre making us watch it in school. ill milk it.

Im talking to Z right now because this girl, T, called her boyfriend and invited him to her grad party. I know, inviting him in January to party happening around June?! I dont know, but apparently she did and Z wants him to say no because this girl has a history with him. A non existant history, but the roomer is she likes or liked him. Z has done everything to make her back off but i guess she doesnt get it.

Almost half way done the week....Ciao for now!