phillyphan

I'm lazy. not even really busy, just lazy because i obviously havnt written for a few weeks. Im sorry and i hope i remember atleast the most important info here. Theres some major stuff though, so stick around.

From what i remember the end of November comes down to 2 things: Thanksgiving and working. I ended up having off from school tuesday through sunday. Tuesday and wednesday i had completely off so i just chilled at home, Thursday was Thanksgiving, and friday through sunday i worked. At work I made corn-husk dolls and rehashed the history of Thanksgiving a few times. One of my shows resulted in some lunatic guy asking me for my email, and then sending me pictures of wild turkeys. yea... and to make it worse i looked him up on google and he graduated from mit and harvard mba. i dont get it either. I guess thats what an ivy league education results in. Oh! Also last weekend i saw A and N! They came to see my sisters show on friday and then we went out to eat. A got a car this week which is awesome. N still has her bf for 6 months which is crazy cuz theyre 16. unbelievable. Then saturday i was J! She came up for break from school and we went out to eat on saturday.

This week of school was my first full week in a while, so it was hard. First week of december is always exciting i guess just because its finally december. Ive definitely started to slack school-wise, which could be bad but im burnt out right now. I mean im obviously burnt out if i havnt even had time to write. I did a lot of Christmas shopping, got my hari cut finally, and then work aga intoday because its finally the weekend. I just dont like being in school cuz people are either really immature, or just freaking out about college. I cant talk though because i freak out everyday. I mean, i hear from penn in less than a week-- its kinda a big deal. My life for the last 4 years coming down to one day. um scary cuz my life hasnt been that long. I pray though so hopefully something good will happen friday. Ive done everything i can. Also in school Z is being a lot better about her boyfriend. Shes stopped the constant talk about it and also bitches at me less. Shes always been my bestfriend but im glad she got over that.

Today. For some reason i feel like i decided to finally write today because today was important. and guess why. Of course, Romer. I think the Romer chronicals might finally be ending...or atleast taking a new turn.  We talked in the morning. The usual random stuff. Ive made other friends on his staff now and so i can look at their schedule. He was going to be at my post later on. So at that time i went to my post, and as planned, he was there. When i got there he told me 2 drunk guys had come upstairs with a girl and he let them in the exhibits without tickets because the girl with them was nice. Typical? i was a little annoyed because i didnt wana be involved.  but oh i wouldnt freak out about that...then the drunkies come over and start being idiots. I was like umm Romer you need to tell them to go. Romer started talking to "the girl" and of course the drunkies come over to me. I really would rather not talk about what they said but it comes down to one of them starting to take his pants off, the other offering to give me a hickey, and then me telling them that security could see them and they should stay still. That whole conversation actually lasted for about ten minutes. I was gona cry. The whole time i was signalling to Romer trying to get him to help me, or get security, or anything...but nope. He just kept talking to "the girl" and made eye contact with me about 3 times. Finally i told them to stay still or security will come get them, and i found N in the main exhibit. If i would have told the manager or security, Romer would have gotten in major trouble so i decided N would atleast make him listen but no major deal. N made him tell them to leave and i stayed inside the exhibit. By the way i reeked like alcohol from them. just showered. When i came back out to where Romer was, he told me that it was hilarious and he got her phone number and they were awesome. I told him thats classy and walked away. Yea, i wish i wouldve used 'asshole', 'dipshit'. or something along those lines but i was mortified and didnt really want it to be real. This guy i had put all my trust into for 2 years had completely just watched me get harassed while he flirted with a random stranger. And people wonder why i have trust issues. gross. maybe its actually me that deserves better.

So thats that i guess. How will i deal with that tomorrow at work? Right now im planning on atleast silent treatment, but nothing immature. I genuinely dont want to talk to him, or see him, i kind of hope he doesnt show up. unlikely though.

To conclude with something a little more humerous, in the morning there was a guy that came into the museum that had a dreadlock. Not deadlocks, but he had grown his hair down to his waist and made it into one dreadlock. I alomst threw up lmao. How can someone go out in public like that? or even crazier---sleep!? with that? haha people are crazy.

Tomrrow shall be interesting and this week will be full of dark knight dvd release and then penn response. hopefully positive. ill report back soon. i promise this time. Bisous!

Thinking back on the days since my last entry.....wow. rollercoaster. First of all: that whole backpack thing that i wrote about last time completely blew up into a huge mess. My mom freaked out again the next day and i actually ended up moving out of the house for 3 days. Wednesday night my dad told me she was really mad about me and ballet, and my "behavior" around her. Even my dad agreed it was her acting immature, but think what you want. Anyway, wednesday night i took a shower packed my bags, and went to nanas house before mom got home. Thursday and Friday were long days, and finally Staurday night after work i decided that i needed to move back in because i was tired and needed my computer. She can deal with it. Probably because of this whole problem, last week was so long...and this ones getting longer. Tomorrow is Thursday so maybe things will go a little faster, work will come on Saturday and Sunday, 2 more days of school, and then Thanksgiving! Im so excited for next weekend! Im going to see A, J is coming back from school, tons of free food and its Black Friday!!!

I had a physical today so im feeling extra self concious. not to mention i have these gross cold sores that im holding medicine on as i type because i HATE mouth crap. ew. and also talking to Z about stalking B.

Romers avoiding me. dont wana talk about it.

Im scared about Penn.

I basically just have no life right now im hiding in a hole. nervous.

okay i will write later!!! hopefully before my happy holiday break!! ciao!

Ive decided that since the application and school craziness is winding down, hopefully, im going to try some new projects and have new goals. A lot about this weekend inspired me actually.

To start, on Firday after school i drove one of my best friends, H, to her college interview. On the way we went shopping, obviously, and went to starbucks and then i finally drove her to meet her alum interviewer. I hadnt really had the chance to hang with H for a whle so that was fun. After sending her off to talk her way into college, i headed over to the special olympics. It was about 4pm so the only event left was the volleyball tournament. I was a security guard. yes, a security guard who wore a huge orange shirt that read: Special Olympics SECURITY. and i walked around with some random kids from East College who were nice but pretty random. Not much to say about that experience. and no, it did not inspire any new short term goals.

However on Saturday, i went to work as usual, saw N, M, and Romer, plus the rest of our motley crew that i love. I dont remember much about work on Saturday except it was long and dreary, M was hungover, and i talked to Romer a lot. As usual, ill have a separate paragraph about Romer later on, inspired. Saturday night i watched 'Jane Austen Book Club' which was so much better than i ever would have guessed. definitely reccommend this. I am now reading my first Jane Austen: Northanger Abbey, her first novel about a 17 year old finding her way. golly gee. Im hoping this helps me for one, to relax and read a whole book which i havnt had time to do in forever (goal one), and two, to help me out. Even in the first 21 pages ive found a connection and a new favorite quote:

'Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.'

From the movie, besides discovering that i need to read Austen, i decided that i really want to skydive this year. One of the characters in the movie does, and though she breaks her arm, i was like woahhhh i need to do that. Ive been feeling trapped, and thats totally the out of body, completely out of control experience i need. My best friend, Z, soloed flying the other day so she might take me up sometime. Probably just to fly with her, but its still awesomee and well skydive too like officially.

Sunday was Romer's birthday. Yes, i was a freak and brought donuts...and presents to work for him. but not over the top, i mean, he did have to work on his birthday. Okay so this a good time to explain my 'new' attitude about Romer. I love him for real. You knew that. But anyway, this weekend gave me the idea that, one: he doesnt know or think i like him. two: hes afraid of my age. and three: hes afraid of a relationship.  For example, on saturday, an older volunteer, I, came with visitors-family- just as a guest.... She found me while i was working and said that she brought guest but especially wanted me to meet a 24 year old english teacher that she thinks' would like me.' yea, wow, thats what i thought. I told her i had to go and she said shed find me later. I went downstairs and told Romer. He was completely like 'aw, no, seriously, blah blah' like he kept critisizing this person he didnt even know. but i liked it. is that weird? I couldnt stop listening to him talk about how id never talk to this guy and hes too old and on and on. We than went on and on talking about people we dont like and crazy matchermaker old people. I guess you had to be there, but for some reason that just whips me everytime a convo like that occurs. Going along with the age, i think he might be waiting for me to be 18 still. i know, back to that logic but i really think its possible. knock on wood. He makes so many comments about it. Ill be waiting six months.

Sadly though, at the end of work, for some reason i was in an aweful mood. I think it was that the whole birthday thing built up and subconciously i thought something amazing was going to happen. Romer was so cute and nice about everything but i just sorta said happy birthday bye and left. He told me to smile and now that i look back i hope i wasnt obviously bitter. I know the reason im always bitter is because of him. or lack of. which was ironic. But i think the bitterness was forshadowing the night to come...

When i got home last night my mom went crazy. She was mad at me for not going to a 'rehearsal' i never signed up for. Long story short, when i told her that i dont want to speak to her and to please stop trying to plan my life, she told me i couldnt use the car this week. I laughed and went upstairs. To my surprise in the morning she was outside with her car and when i tried to get in my car to go to school she attempted to hit me and then took my bookbag. I locked myself in my car-out of fear- but she had taken my bookbag and driven away in her car. I went to my dad but he said id just have to rough the school day without it. So i drove to school, with nothing. An hour into school my dad called me and said shed come home, hed taken the bookbag out of her car and was bringing it to school for me! He finally got to school and i took the books out of his car but left the bookbag so he could put it back in her car so shed think nothing happened. It was great and as of now she suspects nothing but has the satisfaction of causing me agony. my moms aweful and i cant wait to move out next year. thank god for dad.

So thats my life in a nutshell. Waiting for my Penn response. Reading Northanger. trying to chill about Romer. planning skydiving. Ciao! Bisous!

It's definitely been more than 2 weeks since ive witten, and more has happened than i have had time to register.

Major stuff first. On an amazing note, the Phillies won the World Series!!! The night they won i actually cried, it was an amazing game and i will never forget watching. I stayed up most of the night watching the postgame show and celebrating. I couldnt sleep. Also on Friday, which also happened to be Halloween, was the parade in Philly to celebrate! I skipped school, like a good fan, and my sister, my dad, and I stood by city hall and watched it..and got on tv a few times.

A second amazing note would be that i turned in my Penn App! I turned it in on Halloween, before going over to the the parade. Now comes the waiting. I will have a decision December 15th, one month and 10 days. ugh, seems like forever already. I figure Thanksgiving wil come sort of in the middle of the waiting time and make it go faster, but who knows. Funny side story about Halloween.-My friend, S, had a party that i didnt go to but the next day Cutie (remember him?) texted me and asked why i wasnt there! Since im still officially creeped out by him i didnt really respond but finally decided to get some info about the party from him. I just thought that was random but humorous.

Okay so third on my list would be the bad news: Barack Obama was voted the next president last night. I was speechless and shocked out of my mind. Though this came as the third major thing on my list of events here, it really is the most imporant. I just didnt want to put bad news first. When the call was made last night, I called my best friend, A, and we cried. A could barely talk, and we agreed to cherish the next two months of freedom, capitalism, and good old America that we have... which would include Christmas. Today, after hearing the news, Russia put weapons on its western border, right in time for the inauguration on Janurary 20th. Who knows if israel will exist next year, or even the united states. Im scared. I also talked to Romer last night about it-- more on him later-- and he said the only good thing that could come out of this election is that we shouldnt have to hear anymore about slavery and opression, because they have overcome and they tell us what to do now. Hopefully for me, no more black history guilt books in school. I understand people may be happy that they elected the first black president, but they surely didnt think about the consequences.

More small, good news. I am now working on sundays! I work saturday and sunday now which is good because i can get out of the house and make more spending money. Talking to people at work is always refreshing after a week at school. Saturday i went to another Coldplay concert which was fabulous and i was literally 5 feet away from Chris Martin at one point. So the only other good news i can think of is that Christmas is coming! Im already listening to my music and doodling trees and candycaneson the borders of my notes. Starbucks has their peppermint mochas, so im all ready to go.

Romer, as usual, is usual. I talk to him at work and were friendly, i guess. I dont know if he considers us friends but i consider him, a friend, if nothing else. Its been hard but im trying to stay resigned to the fact that im just not good enough, because i really do believe he deserves better anyway. Plus he doesnt like me, i think. Im always gona like him like that but im doing the right thing. On Saturday he asked me if i was planning on working there during college because Penn would be so close. I said i want to, i mean they pay well, but not sure, it depends on how intense my program is. I wanted to ask why he asked, but i thought id leave that. just curious? We talked last night from 9pm until about 1am during the election. He was pissed about the results too. aw.

So as you can see, life isnt too shabby beside the election...and ill formulate a plan of action to deal with socialism and insecurity by then hopefully. Happy November! Ciao!

I finally have time to write. Well ill make time now. Things are at a climax and im so busy, but its all ending soon!!!  So much has gone down in the last few weeks its crazy. My tennis season is almost over!!! Our last match is tomorrow and if we win we will have a winning record. The team has been really good lately, and im almost dead in terms of sports, i need some time off.

Its also winding down to the end of the election. Obama just came out with some idiot comment that hes socialist basically so hopefully mccain will sweep up the last of the swing votes. Its scary. At school my republican bulletin board causes much controversy because everything is ujst so true that the democrats cant say anything except 'stop accusing obama wah wah.' its funny.

Phillies start the WORLD SERIES on wednesday in tampa. SO exciting i cant even describe. I think they can pull it off.

So yea, ive just been scattered with school tennis, work, everything lately. This weekend was also everywhere but awesome because i worked a lot at a conference. It was a science conference at the convention center where i was at thei nformation desk but also got a lot of free stuff, which is always nice. Last night i worked at the banquet for the conference where there was amazing food and some pretty drunk attendees. Some lady asked if she could swing from the pendulum over the stairwell... im convinced i saved a life.

My job is going pretty well, especially because soon ill also be working on sundays in addition to saturdays. Romer wasnt at work this weekend because it was his sisters wedding. Still same case with him, i talked to him this week but im kinda over the fact that im not quite up to par, blah blah you know. So thats basically it. Ill write more soon, i promise. My life needs to get interesting after i turn this penn app in in 2 weeks! AHHH! Ciao!