phillyphan

A week of October has almost passed already and Im not finished my Penn application. wow. This weekend was awesome because i visited Penn! --it was crazyyyy, lets just say, so much fun. I want to go even more. I went to dinner with a senior from last year who now goes to Penn, H, and then we went frat hopping, etc...haha. The most awkward, hilarious moment was probably when we saw the assistant athletic director at the last frat. Yes, he works at my school and yes, hes 28. He graduated from Penn but still like whaaat. Cheers baaha!

Saturday i also took the SATs, again. ugh it was okay. Then on Sunday i worked at my other job and then watched the Phillies make it to the NEXT round!

Basically all thats on my mind right now is college. I just want to get in early so badly. I didnt go to real work on Saturday so Romer hasnt been an issue. Im trying, again, to refrain from communication because it always results in the realization that im not good enough and blah blah. stop. i miss him, no lies.

McCain is a little behind in the polls, which sucks. I mean who is gona care that America is pro-choice and "green" when were all being hydrogen bombed by Iraq?? not me. Obamas a moron to put it blatently. It just annoys me how stupid people are.

So life isnt bad besides those few greivences and my stresss. Hopefully ill get my app together in the next few weeks and be good to go...and the phillies will make the world series... *wishful thinking*.  Ciao!

Now dont get me wrong-- Christmas is the most amazing thing about life itself, but sometimes jewish people know when to strategically place their holidays exactly where you need them most. For example tomorrow, a tuesday, is rosh hashanna, and i have the day off to get work done and relax. so cheers to that.

First order of business: The PHILLIES made the playoffs and are the NL East champs! yayyy. They start playing the brewers on wednesday and hopefully theyll make it to the second round. So thats exciting. School is going pretty well. Chem is hard-- definitely not the amount of work i meant to sign up for. We have quizzes about twice a week and its just a lot to keep up with. My favorite class right now would have to be english. -Awkward as that seems, because im such a math and science person, this year we were able to pick english electives, and i picked 'love stories'. My teacher is amazing and we mostly read italian lit, no more african american sob stories or confusing, long epic poems. I actually enjoy reading inferno and the decameron, strangely enough. College is getting scary. Today my college counselor, who i usually get along with, completely embarrassed me infront of a visiting admissions person from a college i was applying to early action. Not my beloved Penn (thank god) but another one. I had signed up to go to this interest meeting for it, but then crossed my name off because ive missed so many chem classes for other college meetings that i feel way behind. Well, my counselor, Fro, completely freaked out at me in the middle of the hall in front of the admissions person for crossing my name of the list this morning and not telling her first. I mean its not like i was cutting school, i just thought getting a good grade in chem was more important.

This weekend was crazy. Not crazy like get drunk and strip down, but hectic, if nothing else. Wednesday night i left for chicago with my dad and after a much delayed flight out of philly, we made it there to take the tour of northwestern on thursday morning. I love northwestern! -- again not as much as penn-- but its definitely second. After the tour in the morning we rushed into chicago to sight see; but first we took a detour through the part of the city where my dad's grandfather lived when he came over from poland. This place was legit. Everything was in polish, and its basically all the poeple spoke. We saw his old house and ate polish food. It was pretty cool. Finally we went downtown to walk the magnificent mile and eat at the original Uno's pizza. Friday we went downtown again to go to navy pier, ride the huge ferris wheel, and then go see the reflecting bean! So after a fun day, of course it had to end. with the flight home. Our flight was at 4:25. not. we got there and it was delayed 2 hours due to storms in philly. However, when everyone came back 2 hours later, the plane had left. what?! thats what i said. The whole plane had to rebook and lcuky for us, we got out late that night. So except for the flights, it was stellar.

More weekend. Saturday was work. duh. As usual, i hung out with nancy and teased volunteers. Bad news...it was my 2 week aniversary of not talking to Romer. wow, 2 weeks! I was so proud of myself. I had gone a full 2 weeks without talking or contacting him in a any way. When i got ready to clean up at 430, before i would leave at 5, i was almost care free..until i got back to the supply closet. Yes, he was standing there, talking to another guy from work that i guess hes friends with on his staff. No big deal right? Right,. until he asks me a question and follows me into the closet. damn. So the 2 guys come in with me and start talking to me about random stuff while im trying to clean up and put things away. Now im not sure if Romer brought this other guy in because this guy, Three(we shall call him), likes me, and wanted to talk to me, or theyre just freaks. The point is, Romer ruined my record. I dont have problem with seeing him at work now and then, its just when he talks to me, i fall back and all my hard work of avoiding and forgetting is gone. This 15 minute conversation killed me and my 'moving on' mindset. I had to talk to him online last night. So i did. for 2 hours. But now, im convinced i can start over by avoiding, with a clean slate, because its out of my system. I dont know why, but i always end up falling back into the trap and i cant find my way out.

Yesterday we took the bristish to nyc. We showed her the statue of liberty, she saw legally blonde, and we ate at our fav resturant, virgils. It was overall a great except for the rain. Last night i swore i had pnemonia, but im over it. I just watched elf with her so she could see all the sights from yesterday.

Tomorrows the last day of September!!! and a day off! YES! Winter is coming. college apps are almost done. Christmas is coming. Im trying to make it through. ciao!

It has been a while. September is crazy and its been non-stop school, tennis, driving, college-ing, and work on weekends. A lot has gone down and so i shall attempt to recount the important, juicy events.

Last week went pretty smoothly from what i remember. Just a tennis match that we won early in the week but mainly thrusday was the big shaaaabang because i worked at this huge ceremony -at work. Gorbachev was there, old Bush, Van Cliburne, Rendell, and Nutter. wow. yea so i was a seating hostess, or so i was called, and i welcomed/seated people at the ceremony. The event itself was great but of course i was posted as a hostess with, the one, the only... Romer's sister. I used to talk to her a lot before she got promoted to a weekday job, but since i havnt talked to her seriously in almost a year, yet i still know her life, it was a tad awkward. We talked about her wedding ( in a month!!!) but strictly avoided Romer. I dont know if shes aware of our issues or my slight obsession, but i have a feeling she knows something. It was fine though, we just chatted and had fun with secret service guys anyway. Friday i had another tennis match and we kicked butt-- everyone won their matches! We played GA which is a butch--jocky school so that was a big deal.

It never endsss. Work on Saturday was all good. I hung out with N and M, and also various volunteers. S is a bit clingy, but atleast i have someone to hang with. R has always been clingy but he's getting better, and finally, L... i dont know his deal yet, but hes sorta in my face, and strange. I made the executive decision to avoid and not talk to Romer this week. He must have done the same because we barely saw each other. Its been a week and a day sine ive talked to him, like actually conversation. Im really making an effort to distance myself so that i can move on, and even talking about it now makes me slightly depressed so im gona stop. I mean, hes happy, right? I just translated a Catullus poem in latin where hes saying goodbye to his lover that rejected him, so im just giving myself some wisdom. or rather ancient advice: count as lost what you see is lost.

Sunday was another long day at my volunteering job on the other side of the city. I drove in, which was actually a bigger deal than you might think, even though i drive every single day of my life everywhere, because it is a hair-raising drive that even my parents dont like doing. However, it was worth it because i got a new fleece and polo hah and i made it out alive. When i got home i went shopping and then did some homework.

In other news, outside of my bubble, my sister has an exchange student! She British and she came Saturday night. We'll call her UK. not unoriginal or anything right? So yea she came saturday night and after waiting until 9pm at the airport, we all went to Rubys for an all-american midnight snack. Shes so nice and, luckily, normal. Sunday, while i was at work, they went to hershey park and then i drove her to school today with my sister. We just finished eating her welcome cake and watching gossip girl. I think shes having fun here but she will have even more fun when we go to the Phillies game tomorrow! yayy! ps- Phils are still in first :D

That would be the update. I have a tennis match tomorrow before the game, but right now i need to get back to my applications and my ton of annoying homework. I just heard today that 9 people from my grade are applying to Penn. shit. College stuff sucks. Im staying overnight at Penn though in 2 weeks with a girl who graduated last year. yayy.

I better get on this stuff. ciao!

Carpe diem! seriously. Im in a complete state of equalibrium. this never happens. school is pretty good--nuthing bad so far, work is great, Romer is well um friendly as usual, phillies are kicking butt, and there are no misc problems in life right now. wow. remember this moment in five minutes when i fall and break my neck. knock on wood.

I barely had tennis this week because of rain. yay so i got a lot of college essay-ing done and homework. School is blah, but i cant complain because atleast nothing bad-grades wise- has gone down yet. Again, remember this moment for when i have my many quizzes this week. In other news, we ate lunch with Aeneas this week. sweeet. He actually asked to eat lunch with us, thinking it would just be me&Z. hah wow was he surprised when our entire group of friends showed up. I accidentally leaked some info we read on his wife's blog (lmao) and he was kinda confused for a sec, but other than that, lunch went smoothly.

This weekend was fun. I worked alll weekend. oxymoron? Well most of work consisted of me dressing as a huge elephant and wandering around the museum. yay. N, my favorite person ever, was the donkey and we were great. except the heat in the costume almost killed me. mascots have a hard job. M was George Washington. HAHA. I worked saturday and today, sunday, so i saw Romer a lot. and yes, nothing actually happened. We're friends to put it simply, and sadly. I mean i hope he considers me his friend. I would think so. I cant read him. I would go through everything that happened this weekend, if i even remembered everything, and analyze him, but its just not worth it anymore. He might (still) like me, i mean there was no indication that he doesnt, and we talked a lot; but im really scared i might never know. and im just stcuk in this dilemma. do i ask to hang out? do i just completely forget (which i cant) and just be friends? do i say something? Im just stuck, as usual. and i dont wana ruin anything. Everytime were alone i talk too much. Enough said. So i guess i shall remain in limbo, which is better than hell obviously, until i figure out a plan that can only make things go upwards. Also at work i had my 6-month evaluation which was amazing, if i do say so myself, on my private blog only.

I dont want to go back to school tomorrow. gahhh. dealing with college shit. Atleast Phillies are winning. wooo lets go to theee playoffs. ciao for now!

The first week of school is always hectic, nervy, and sorta exciting i guess. I cant say it was a great first week, becuase i am a pessimistic and sarcastic negative nancy, but i will say that it was mildly enjoyable. All my classes are pretty good except Latin. I want to drop it so badly but i cant because my college counselor teaches it. joy. She'd actually hate me if i dropped it, and getting into college is kinda important right now. I love Calc, Stat and enlgish hahah which i usually hate english so thats weird. Of course having a free period this year everday is nice also. Chem and French are okay right now ehh. I am enjoying driving to school even with the crazy limited parking available and tennis has gotten better. I'm playing doubles now with a funny freshman and we won on friday yay.So for the bad news, i found out on tuesday that one of my best friend's parents are getting divorced. Theyve been together atleast 28 years and she's devistated. Why did they have to do that at the beginning of senior year? I mean i know it happens, but ugh. I dont quite know how to support her, but im trying my best.

Today was Saturday which equals work. There were a lot, and i mean a lot of new volunteers; so it was kind of interesting but it was also girl scout day which was maddness. A full day of pin making, button making, and talking to little girls with annoying mothers. There were the 2 new-ish girl/lady volunteers, C and E, but also 2 brand new guy volunteers, L and G who are both seniors. L was nice and pretty easy to talk to, a little geeky. G was just really quiet and so obviously i dont know much ahah cuz i just never stop talking. So i spent most of the day with N of course and also M, the new full time guy whos funny but potentially gay (with girlfriend), atleast Romer thinks lol. Anyway, today was also "hurricane" hannah. It was really an occasional downpour, and just enough to give me and N a constant headache all day, plus the girl scouts made it worse. However, i was still able to walk to startbucks. yay. So overall good day, and i talked to Romer again...ohh let's talk about him cuz you know i need that.

So Romer. all that matters these days. Well actually about the past year or more. This week i talked to him on aim on wednesday. It was late, after Palin's amazing speech at the RNC. We first discussed the election, then school, and then my friend's divorced parents. This serious conversation segwayed into an intense, confusing convo. -After i told Romer about the issue, he proceeded to tell me a story about his uncle's sad love life and then the status of his own. wow. He went off on a tangent about love (mmhm) and about how he wouldnt be able to deal with not staying with/marrying his "first" love. I was confused. He never talks like this. I just replied in agreement and he kept talking and then said, "I shouldnt drink on week nights." What!? I still dont know if he said all this under the influence or not. I really feel like he wasnt, but ill never know. He supposedly likes someone he met this summer and she left for college. I didnt crush that out of jealousy, but i actually supported him and said maybe itll work out, who knows. I also said that I'm not interested in anyone new lately i guess because i messed something up before(ahemm) and just cant find anyone i can trust. I hope this didnt close him out. I talked to him a lot today, not about that, but just about random stuff. This week, M, another senior on my tennis team said that i need to be proactive, since he's not, and ask him to hang out. I want to so badly, I just need to get up the confidence and find the right time. He isn't going to read my mind, and hes obviously not coming to me. Somewhere along the line he got turned off or lost hope. Its up to me, unfortunately. I think this week ill ask him if he wants to hang out this or next saturday. It will be awkward but nothing will ever happn if i dont try. As Z says, "JAP UP.get watcha want" aaha. right? i think so. If he is my type or the person i think he is, he will give me a (second) chance and do it. The downside is that i dont want to be pushy, i want him to be happy, and if that doesnt include hanging out with me, then i dont want to push our friendship. ugh. I feel like since weve been talking a lot more lately the time is almost right. I'm glad were talking so often, and he confides somewhat in me.

Tomorrow is my other job. joy...not. I also will be doing homework and completing (maybe) some college apps. Its crunch time and i need to get down to business. So little time, so much to do... id rather spend my day with you. ciao!